Mid-Life Crisis
by GohanGenius'85
Summary: A very funny story in which Vegeta goes through a mid-life crisis. His hate of Goku increases, is Goku really evil? Find out in this story. Its so funny!!!! Review please.


  
  
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not mine, they belong to Akira Toriyama and I  
think to the networks that air them. But the story is mine.  
  
Warning: The story doesn't really have a plot, its extreme stupidness. I would like a  
review though. Enjoy!  
  
Note: Okay so from the reviews, I now know that humor is not my greatest area. Hey! I thought  
it was funny at the time, but then again I was on a sugar high. Geez did any of you read the   
warning. Its supposed to be funny and stupid, I am sorry to those of you who didn't like it  
but humor doesn't always need to make sense. Anywayz read Forever Strong, I did much better  
there and it ain't humor! Okay I will admit I have overdone character personalites but I have  
seen worse than this so bring on some flames!! But uh nice stuff is nice too.  
  
Humour Story- Tell me what you think of it.  
  
"Kamehameha,"  
"Big Bang attack." The two fighters each with distinctive spiky hair fought. Vegeta with  
the pointy hair couldn't believe it, the idiot was actually winning and eating an apple at the  
same time. Sure Vegeta was a good person now, but he hated Kakkarot and his  
everlasting power, he had thought that goodness was this magnificent power, but he was  
still the small loser, but at least he was a royal loser. He cursed himself and reclaimed his  
proud title with a swift kick to the head of his eternal rival. Goku looked dazed with half  
a apple in his mouth.  
"How could I have been so blind, kicking his head isn't going to any damage, heck it  
might even restart that dusty unused brain of his, what was I thinking, his head can't be  
damaged more than it is." Vegeta was surrounded in a dramatic light surrounded by  
darkness as realization of his blindness set in, his eyes grew wide.  
"Hey Vegeta, why you flyin' like that, wait up, dont you wanna spar or something, yo  
Vegeta, wow that was really strange, oh well, dinner time, yum." Vegeta shuddered as a  
sudden thought approached him as he held to his reality dearly. He flew in trembling and  
opened the door to be greeted by his wife's shouts that literally shook Capsule Corp. She  
stopped however and stared blankly at his expression and manner.  
" Oh no, he's done it to you too, oh no we're all doomed, we are going to be  
idiots!!!aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg." Vegeta screamed insanely at his wife's  
dumfounded expression.  
"Sweetheart, you can fight it, you are better than it." Vegeta said with a weird expression  
in his gleaming eyes.  
"Vegeta, what the heck is going on, and I think you're sick, I mean you just called me  
sweetheart." Bulma said while carefully backing away, a wet towel in her hand positioned  
in a weapon.  
"I know, its all Kakkarot's fault, dang it." Vegeta responded grimly, his hands forming  
into weapons of mass destruction.  
"What, that's just silly, what could he possibly have done that is so affecting to all of us,  
did he blow up a mountain or something, something small like that or did he accidently kill  
his son again, I mean the way they fight just doesn't stick to the Children abuse  
association rules, but then again, you guys aren't exactly human."  
"No its much, much worse, he's gotten us contagious, we are all going to turn to the other  
side." Vegeta said with the end of the world look.  
"huh," Bulma spoke confused and scared.  
"Just today we were sparring and being a prince, I have always been smarter than  
Kakkarot, and I admit my methods of fighting were cruel, but what he is done is just  
outright sickening," Vegeta spoke up.  
"Well go on." Bulma replied intrigued.  
"Well anyway, I have realized that ever since anyone has met that, that beast, they have  
turned to the other side, the side of stupidity!!! I think we're next on his list, we have to  
hurry or we'll end up like his family, screw the competition, I value being smart."  
"I know just what to do." Bulma rose with a pose that looked like she was going to save  
the world.  
"Uh....what are you talking about woman, none of us have the antidote." Vegeta  
responded.  
"Let old age cower in my rage." Bulma said in a short moment proudly.  
"Bulma!! You are doing lines like his son, oh no he's spreading it too, we're all going to  
be consumed by his evil plan. Just then she looked at him all around and handed him a  
book.  
How to deal with a mid life crisis for thickheaded, arrogant, jerk royalty  
"Vegeta, this is perfect for you, it's just a mid-life crisis, I had a lot of them, especially  
when I was with you." Bulma said with a sparkling, know-it-all smile.  
"I would say something, but the impending, oh how I love that word, I mean we need to  
deal with this, we cannot stand by while people are in danger of stupidity, we can't be that  
cruel." Vegeta said with his muscular chest out, almost resembling a hero, I stress almost.  
Years later, after severe and long therapeutic lessons and Psychiatric help...  
"Vegeta, you are home, oh I was so worried you would be fully crazy forever, I just hope  
you haven't lost all of your mind or else we are so getting a divorce, I mean if you call me  
sweetheart again, I will marry Yamucha."  
"Uh, yeah, I am okay," He responded. He thought to himself I am too late to save her  
but I can save our children, I just hope they aren't too infected. After a few hours, a  
huge party was going on and Vegeta was busy throwing up, he couldn't stand this fun  
they called it, it was just a clever disguise to terminate smartness.   
"Well I guess the damage can't be undone, oh well, at least I will able to surpass  
Kakkarot, I mean I gotta learn this secret." Vegeta said softly, dissapointment in his  
voice.  
"Daddy or whoever you are, I am going to Gohan's, ah, I mean I need your permission,  
cause mom is beginning to get mad,hee, hee." Little Bra said, blinking out of control.  
"Oh, so you're my daughter, well I guess what's done is done, what the heck, go." He  
smiled to himself as a naughty plan developed.  
"Oh, Trunks,"  
"Yeah, Dad."  
"Oh, I was just wondering, are you going to Goat's house anyday now?"  
"Goten, Dad, its Goten."  
"Uh yeah whatever, you going?"  
"Tomorrow, why do you care, you freak?" Trunks said his eyebrow raised in suspicion,  
his suspicions were interrupted by a stampede of teenage girls drooling and he hid with his  
father where they would never discover him.  
"Oh well see this here muscle, well you can get these as soon as you tell me what goes on  
in that evil household k." Vegeta said in a crazy stare and a hopeful smirk.  
"Wow you are crazy, why would I want that kind of muscle, I mean do you know what  
goes through my heart everytime I rip my shirts, its awful, I am mentally scarred." A  
dramatic light shone on Trunks.  
"Don't brag, I was much more scarred besides I am your dang father, so listen you  
impudent, low class boy and make sure that your little sister is fine, cause if anything  
happens, hahahahahahahahahah, uhm, go."  
At Goku's house  
"Goku, I was wondering why you didn't go to the party." Chi-chi asked.  
"Well I know this sounds stupid, but Vegeta scares me, he is too freaky, and he went to a  
place with a lot of needles, I just can't bear to see him."  
"Oh, geez just cause I asked, doesn't mean I want to know a story Saiya-Jin loser."   
Chi-Chi asked tiring of the fact that her husband couldn't understand what now even  
Goten could. Goku shrugged and invited Trunks and Bra in who were complaining about  
their father, Bra was wearing a disguise to avoid being regarded to being related to the  
guy who had lost his mind. They sparred all day with Goten and Gohan who let the shy  
Goku spar too. It was soon dinner, and Bra and Trunks were horrified at the Sons'"  
"My goodness, what's wrong, are you sick, you are barely on your 12th bowl of food, my  
you must be starving, you need your nutrition." Goku nodded from the other side of the  
table, accidently swallowing his spoon, Chi Chi spoke that and and helped a panicked  
Goku.  
"Trunks what's wrong, you must be starved, here take another bowl, maybe some pots of  
fruit can be used, as an appetizer of course, I am sorry but we keep running out of food  
here for some odd reason." Videl said as she poured 5 pots of fruit and rice into baby  
Pan's mouth."  
"Dear, I know she must be starving, but well the neighbors are suspicious that we are over  
feeding the baby." Gohan said as bowls of food went into his endless pit.   
"Well I don't care, I dont want her growing up malnutritioned, oh my goodness, how  
selfish we are, look they were so hungry that they collapsed on their food." Videl said  
completely unaware of the real reason why. Gohan and Videl placed them on the bed and  
left, later the two woke up.  
"Oh crud, I feel like I am gonna puke, I have never eaten so much in my life."  
"That's true Bra, aw, do you see a bucket, I think I am gonna need it to um deposit my  
waste." Trunks said.  
"Ewww, that so gross, but I know what you mean, I can't believe it, this family definetly  
redefines the phrase, bottomless pit, I mean they think 12 bowls of fruit and rice is  
malnutrition, can they think of nothing else, I am scared, I think I am beginning to  
understand what my father meant, maybe he's not the freak." Bra and Trunks held their  
stomachs and curled up desperate to be polite and not run from fear of food. The next  
morning, what they discovered revolted them, there were 35 pots of rice and the family  
looked sad."  
"Uh, is something wrong."  
"Oh hello Bra, actually see this is all the food we have left, father's gone into depression, I  
mean look at it, its barely enough to call an appetizer for one person, sorry but *sniffle* I  
need to be alone at this time. Goten said shaking with sadness, Bra and Trunks exchanged  
nervous glances.  
"Know what, we aren't as malnutritioned as you, I mean you collapsed, your mother  
needs to give you more food, so we decided even though that this is a sorry excuse for  
food that we think you need this more than us, we are going to go shopping right now,  
don't worry." Videl said nievely. At the thought of food, Goku sprang up grabbing  
money and the women and flew at the highest speed to the biggest supermarket. Gohan  
smiled for the first time and shouted hope. Videl wave lasted less than a second before  
she was gone in the air. After that day and several trips to the bathroom, their visit ended  
and they went home to find an eager Vegeta and sweatdrops appeared as Vegeta  
approached them.  
"Well Trunks, how did it go, did you find out the secret," Bra had a dazed face and didn't  
ask questions and in super speed left the room. Vegeta shrugged and looked back at a  
sick looking Trunks.  
"Well Dad, it was really strange, and it was like they were possessed with hunger, I mean  
they just didn't stop eating, I think that they were born with 900 no 1000 stomachs, they  
must be monsters!!" Trunks said more to himself deep and thought and fell over as his  
gaze fell upon his father. The man was pouring or trying to pour 9 fridges and  
refrigerators full of food down his throat. He was trying to mumble something like yes I  
can feel the power, its coming to me, oh no I think its going back out. " Dad, I know that  
power is important to you but only their stomachs can withstand this, no one else in this  
universe would last very long in that house father."  
" Argh, you are right my son, I am no match for such a evil force such as appetite,  
what lazy idiots anyway....so I hear there a great fishing spot down by the ol' creek a  
roo."  
" No way you creep, you scare me, now I want my freaking money, I got a couple  
of chicks waiting for me at the store."  
" Well then goodbye, you shall now die hybrid but before you go, is that anyway to  
call women." Vegeta asked.  
" Stupid, who said I was talking about women, mom sent me to go to the butcher  
to get some chickens for dinner, I hate women, they do things to me, horrid things like  
those looks they are always giving me." Trunks said seeing Vegeta with a sweatdrop.  
" Boy, you are worse than Gohan, you are no longer allowed to um see Goten  
anymore, I will not have that behavior at my house."  
" It's not yours, here dad I feel sorry for you, I was walking along and I saw this  
bookstore and then this book and I knew it was meant for you."  
How to deal with Mid-Life Crisis's and Strange Parents who are too  
arrogant  
  
  
20 seconds after seeing book and returning memories  
  
Vegeta can still to this day be seen dancing around the yard singing, wearing a flowered  
frock. Sometimes he even rips his hair out. This has become one of the most famous  
visiting sights in Japan. Titled is The Ever so crazy stupid King of fools(not all). Funny  
how Trunks is the manager and the only gender that ever visit are young girls unless of  
course, well wonder to yourself.  
  



End file.
